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| Dark Secrets by Sheila Tostes through Flickr |
Trapped
Left.. right... darkness is all I see. For days I've been tied to this cold wooden chair with only the company of my thoughts. Tap...Tap..TAP... heavy footsteps are heard from afar. Closer and closer they come, "huff'' "puff' "HUFF" "PUFF" my whole body shakes with anxiety and fear. BANG! A shiver runs down my spine. He is here. My eyes struggle to open as they meet bright light. Big green piercing eyes stare right back at me. I then realize in this game only one will survive the question is "Who will meet the fate of death?"
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| Ravana approaches Sita during her captivity painting Image source: Wikimedia |
She Will Be Mine
Ravana watches Sita from afar "I have given her my wealth, shown her my power, been affectionate and charming. YET, she continues to deny me" Ravana screams angrily as he throws a plate across the room. "I am the great king of Lanka, whom all gods fear, and have all women at my feet, who does she think she is, to say No to me"! Rama? HAHAHAHA he wickedly laughs. What is he, he has no wealth, power, strength, charm or looks of mine" I will o longer be ridiculed, Sita will be mine whether through force or will.
Authors note + Bibliography: Both microfiction stories were inspired by Sita and Ravana story from the book Myths of the Hindus and Buddhists by Sister Nivedita. In the original Ravana has abducted Sita and is trying to persuade her to leave Rama and take him as her husband instead. He tries to whoo her in all sorts of ways, using his wealth, power and comfort but she continues to refuse him and tells him Rama will kill him when he finds him. Sita also seemed to be very scared of Ravana as every time he approaches her she trembles in fear and hides her face and crying. Being tired of rejection, Ravana gives Sita a 2-month term and if she does not yield to him she will receive the consequences of torture and slain and leaves her to the rakshasi guards with orders to break her. In Trapped I changed I a lot of the plot and made more of a girl who is being held hostage by a scary man. However, in She Will Be Mine, the plot is very similar and instead, I wrote it in Ravana's and narrator's perspective. The thoughts of Ravana is more of how I perceive him as narcissistic, arrogant and short-tempered.
I enjoyed "Trapped." I like the use of so many noises. The different sized fonts added another layer to the story that made it more mysterious too. The ending is great too- it makes me wonder if the person trapped is only tied up to protect the person with the big green piercing eyes.
ReplyDelete"She will be mine" was creative too. I like the idea of peering into specific characters' minds and reading what their thoughts could potentially be. This really makes his arrogance shine through in a way that the original version of the Ramayana didn't. Nice job!
Hi again Monica! First, I love your writing style. It's extremely interactive and fully immerses me in the situation. "She Will Be Mine" did such a wonderful job of showing the reader what kind of person/being Ravana was! The wording you used gave the story a very ominous and spooky tone, which really just made the story in my opinion. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Monica,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed how you wrote these stories! Your writing style and the choices you made with font design and size was very intriguing. In "Trapped", I really liked how you changed the story around. Mystery is a very popular genre and adding that aspect of a girl being held hostage drew me in. In "She will be mine", I enjoyed your writing because it was almost entirely dialogue which allowed readers, like me, to get into the character's head and understand why he is thinking the way he is. What made you chose to make the first story, "Trapped", so different from the original while the second story, "She will be mine", was so similar? I would be cool if you incorporated the two together someway. You could keep with the mystery genre and have Sita being the girl held hostage by Ravana, but have the entire story from the narration of Ravana.